Monday, March 24, 2008

Ali G on Acid Comment & Response

This was posted as a comment to the post Ali G on Acid (below):

WOW, Thank Tara for her comments. I know what she is talking exactly. I'm not so sure my non dualistic conceptually intellectual friend is enlightened, but he likes to talk from the nothing matters perspective, which gives him permission to rain on anyones parade at anytime without remorse. But when it comes to turning the table on him and repeating his very own words back to him when things on his to do list didn't go as planned, he doesn't respond in a nothing matters manner.

Tara is fabulous, isn't she? I can say for sure (I think, and we know how far that goes...) that without her I would not be as integrated as I am now (which isn't that integrated). Waking-up is wonderful, liberating, and amazing (but simple and always already present, so don't project any of your feel-better-in-the-future fantasies on awakening), but not necessarily conducive to relationships. Apparently, sitting on the couch drooling for three months, while staring of into space without talking, doesn't make for interesting companionship. Other things were and are great. Since waking-up Tara and I haven't been in one argument. How do you argue with someone that doesn't react, resist or have an opinion about anything? Doesn't work so well. Because of this, I thought things in our relationship were perfect. I think things everywhere are perfect, so my perspective might be a bit warped.

About three months into the awakening thing, Tara had a bit of a breakdown and asked for her boyfriend back. This was all very interesting to me, and it did elicit a response. A play of consciousness began to unfold: how does nothing/everything date something? It was fascinating. What began was a process of learning to relate from the freedom of ever-present liberation. I'm still not very good at it, to be honest, but every day learning unfolds. I am certainly free, but relationships are tricky and challenging aspects of the unfolding mystery of consciousness. I am free. I am free to be in relationship and I am free to be rather poor at it. I am free to practice it, and I learn every moment.

Since waking-up and loosing all ability to take anything personally (it's not a forced, obnoxious practice of non-attachment, but naturally takes no consideration - I couldn't take something personally if I wanted to), my experience of being in relationship has been amazing. Sitting before me is a mysterious and intoxicating being, offering and unfolding emotion after emotion with no apparent reason or cause. People are insanely beautiful. Even if she is raging mad at me and pulling out all the stops, the only thing I can truly feel is absolute wonder. Again, none of this is forced. It's a natural unfolding of my experience.

It's very interesting when people have experiences of Truth and awakening, and somehow manage to still hold on to attachments and resistances. Everyone likes the nice aspects of truth. Everyone likes the:

floating-feel-good-no-care-in-the-world-vibrating-energy-in-your-body-and-everything-you-
experience

sense of being, but very few people follow the implications of that. Very few take it all the way through. Waking-up truly means that you get no stickiness, no resentment, no opinion, no fixed perspective (yes, I am aware that this seems like a fixed perspective), no reactions, no projections, no anything. If there is stickiness in your experience, you are not awake. There is not partially awake. It's awake or it's not. Stop fucking around with bullshit spiritual philosophies and wake-up. If you are sticky, resistant, opinionated, fixed in any perspective or attached or resistant to any emotion, you are not awake.

Stickiness and awake do not exist together. It's one or the other. If there is stickiness in a so-called awake experience, the experience of awakeness is just another delusion and should be immediately destroyed.

This isn't a pissing contest. Awakening is not a who-got-there-first game. I am talking about freedom. Ultimate freedom. I am talking about your freedom. Freedom is not another notch on the ego belt, it's the recognition that there is not truly a fixed ego, and this means, again: no stickiness, resistance, opinions, fixed in any perspective, or attached or resistant to any emotion.

If you are serious about waking-up, whenever you experience resistance, frustration, stickiness, or disagreement there is an opportunity for you to awaken fully to the always already liberated freedom of reality. Find out what's there and destroy it. Destroy it all. When it's done, it's done. You know when it's done, but if there is any resistance, it is not done, and the belief of awakening is just another delusion that must be destroyed.

Now, let this go. It means nothing. The next moment is unfolding.

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